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Do I really want a Divorce? Discernment Counseling might help…

Well, you’ve found the Tampa Friendly Divorce blog, so you are at least considering a divorce.  But if you have any questions at all as to if divorce is the right decision for you, please read on.

Like many of you, I am familiar with Couples Counseling as a way many couples attempt to address concerns with their relationships and/or as a way to improve communications.  This week, I had a chance to speak with Barb LoFrisco, PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, here in Tampa, to learn more about how people decide to stay together or separate – and I learned a ‘couple’ of surprising things:

  1. If both parties are not committed to trying to save the relationship, many family therapists won’t work with that couple – and for good reason: traditional couples counseling can actually be harmful to the relationship if both partners aren’t fully engaged.
    • A less committed partner might feel his/her concerns and feelings aren’t being addressed
    • The more committed partner might feel demoralized when they don’t see his/her partner trying to make changes
    • As a result, both may disengage from the process and become so discouraged that they give up on counseling all together– when perhaps there was a chance to save the relationship!
  1. “Counselor Barb” then went on to educate me on a type of counseling I had never heard of: Discernment Counseling!  The focus of Discernment Counseling is to help you both identify whether or not to stay together – achieving better understanding, clarity and confidence about whether or not to stay together.  Discernment Counseling can provide the following:
    • Clarity about which direction to take your relationship
    • Confidence about that decision
    • An understanding about what went wrong in your relationship and how it could get better – setting the stage for effective couples counseling or providing personal insights that can help with future relationships should you decide to separate.

If you have any question about your decision to divorce and are interested in learning more about Discernment Counseling, or interested in making an appointment with Dr. Barb LoFrisco, please visit her website at CounselorBarb.com.

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