The holidays can be tender for any family touched by a recent separation or divorce. A lot of advice focuses on younger children, but teens and adult children navigating their parents' divorce face their own challenges. Here are some gentle ideas that can help when the season feels complicated.
Use humor and be authentically yourself
If you can find a little lightness in a hard situation, it can ease the sadness and anxiety, at least for a while. There is no need to pretend everything is fine - pretending is usually more painful than honesty. Let yourself feel what you feel.
Lean on people who get it
Confide in someone empathetic at your gathering, perhaps a cousin or relative you trust. You will often find real comfort in saying how you feel out loud. If you have siblings, support one another; if you do not, reach out to a friend who has been through something similar.
Give your relatives grace
If extended family members do not ask about your other parent or acknowledge what you are going through, it usually is not because they do not care. Many people simply do not know how to talk about it. Try to excuse them for that and remember that almost everyone carries some kind of complicated family dynamic into the holidays.
Create healthy boundaries and new traditions
If you have moved away and are heading back to your hometown, it is okay to stay at a hotel or with a friend so you have space. If you live on your own, consider hosting a holiday yourself and starting a new tradition. Planning and preparing can be exactly the kind of positive distraction the season calls for.
However you spend the holidays, be patient with yourself. If your family is moving through a divorce and you want a calmer path forward, we are here to help.